Who do you allow to speak into your life?

We carelessly allow so many people to speak into our lives; some are good, while others need to be handled with wisdom.

Family

Growing up, family plays the primary role of guardians, be it our parents or grandparents, aunts, uncles and sometimes even siblings. Then later into our mid-childhood, we meet teachers, the media and our peers that open our world more than what we learned from home. We also learn to sift through what is right from wrong.

Discern those wanting to speak into your life

Let’s discuss the different types of people wanting a say in your life. Those you need to discern and handle with wisdom.

• Superior: We find those who believe that what they say is always right, always the best and that it is better than anyone else’s word. Those who want to live their lives through us, advising you to do things they never got to do and forcing it on you. Some of these may be uncomfortable, but they advise you to do these so you can just come and share the experiences with them.
• Imposing: There are also others who always impose their beliefs on us. They will make you feel like your decisions are always wrong; it is their way or no way; your dreams are always invalid in their eyes.
• Takers: Others are there to get, get and get from you without sowing back into your life.
• Bullies: Then there are those who are always joyous when you are beneath them, happy when you depend on them, and always give you alms. They will get seriously upset if your life improves in any way. You buy a car, they stop talking to you, or they will always have something bad to say about your car or even say things like, “What if you lose your job? How are you going to pay for your car?’ They plant doubts and uncertainties in your heart, and some are even bullies.

Those God send your way

Then some desire only the best for us, our go-to people. Those who are for us and all that God has for us. Our Cheerleaders that won’t let you give up. Who pray with you; who lift you up when you are down; who affirm you; they will constructively criticize; lovingly correct and let you know you can get though what you’re facing.

They would run the race with you and are always celebrating you. These are God-ordained relationships, like what King David and Jonathan the Son of King Saul had (1 Samuel 18:3). These are the kind of relationships we should pray for because some people’s dreams have died and were buried by those who were close to them; some people’s confidence and peace are always stolen by their “so-called friends.”

Toxic relationships

It is hard for us to leave a toxic relationship because we fear rejection. Thus, we keep people around because we want to belong and be wanted and celebrated. The world says, “Go where you are celebrated,” yes, that is where we will find peace. Toxic relationships will always drain you, always leave you questioning your worth, sometimes bring fear to even have ambitions in life and always steal your joy, and sometimes even steal your ideas and hold you ransom in a mediocre cell.

The Holy Spirit

The most important relationship we should have is one with the Holy Spirit. He is our Helper, Who teaches us all things and brings into remembrance all our Lord Jesus has taught us.

But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.

John14:26

Remember that His thoughts about us are not to harm us, not for disaster, but His thoughts are to give us a Future and Hope (Jeremiah 29:11, different versions). He is a friend that sticks closer even than a brother (Proverbs 18:24). Our Lord Holy Spirit will guide you to friends you need to keep around you; He will teach you His voice that never condemns, and you will be able to pick up His voice talking through someone.

If you listen and follow His directions, you will have peace that surpasses all understanding, You will grow from glory to glory. Never forget that the Word of God says, “a friend loves at all times;” it also says “Greater Love has no one than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friend,” these are some of the guidelines of how you can identify those who are for you.

In closing

Be careful of who is in your life, who speaks into your life, what they say over your life and what you embrace as truth from their lips about you. Make sure you never allow anyone to be in the driver’s seat in your life except for our Lord Holy Spirit, He knows what and what is best for you. Who is in our lives can either build or break us, help us reach our destination or abort our dreams.

If you would like to talk to someone about your own experience or you are struggling to even lift your head up, do not allow yourself to go through this alone; call our Radio Pulpit care centre.

Written by Sibongile Mofokeng, you can also listen to her on iono.fm. For more inspiration, read our daily devotional, The Word for Today.

The views expressed herein are that of the presenters and not Radio Pulpit.